32 reasons a PowerPoint slide deck is nothing like a bra.
32个理由证明PPT不像女人的胸罩
1. I wear a bra every day, but could do without daily PowerPoint.
我每天都穿胸罩,但不是每天都做PPT。
2. Personally, I think most other women would benefit more from a bra than PowerPoint too.
我认为大多数女人从胸罩获益比PPT更多。
3. You can’t buy a PowerPoint slide deck off the shelf.
你不能买到现成的PPT。
4. There’s no such thing as a Push-up PowerPoint deck.
没有垫出来的PPT。
5. There’s no such thing as a Miracle PowerPoint deck, not even from Nancy Duarte or Garr Reynolds.
PPT不可能像神奇胸罩那样让你显得大起来,即使 Nancy Duarte 或者 Garr Reynolds(两个著名的演讲人)也没这个本事。
6. You can’t improve a bra, but you can improve a slide deck.
你不能改善胸罩,但可以改善PPT。
7. You can’t give away your slide deck to someone who would fit it better.
你不能把你的PPT送给更适合的人。
8. Bras don’t have annoying transition effects like “window blinds“, “newsflash”, and “fade out”.
胸罩没有“百叶窗”,“闪入”,“淡入”这样复杂的转场效果。
9. Bras don’t have annoying sound effects.
胸罩没有烦人的声效。
10. It’s never a surprise when someone pulls out a PowerPoint slide deck in a business meeting.
如果人们在商务会议上拿出一个PPT,这毫不奇怪。
11. People will fall asleep in front of a PowerPoint slide deck.
人们会在PPT面前昏昏入睡。
12. No one anticipates the Victoria’s Secret PowerPoint catalo.
没人知道维多利亚的秘密公司PPT里面的内容,恩,不过每个人都知道维多利亚的秘密里面的内容。
13. A bra works perfectly even if there’s no projector, screen, or laptop in the room.
即使房间里面没有投影仪、屏幕和笔记本电脑,胸罩也能照常使用。
14. Nobody ever asks for a copy of my bra after a meeting.
从来没有人会在会议后找我要一份胸罩的拷贝。
15. A PowerPoint slide deck is completely useless when exercising, while a bra is only somewhat useless.
锻炼的时候PPT完全没有用,胸罩也许还有点。
16. You can’t craft a bra to suit your purpose.
你不能编制一个胸罩来迎合你的目的。
17. Bras might be persuasive or motivational, but are rarely educational.
胸罩可能是充满诱惑与充满激情,但很少是说教的。
18. The Rule of Thirds says a slide contains four “power points”; human anatomy says a bra contains two “power points”.
三点法则说一个PPT包含4个“重点”,人体解剖学说一个胸罩包含两个“重点”。
19. Death by PowerPoint is an overused cliche.Death by Bra is not (yet).
不少人都宣称PPT已死,不过胸罩的命似乎还很长。
20. 40 point bold text on a slide deck is acceptable.On bras? Not so much.
PPT有40码加粗的,胸罩呢?有这么大的吗。
21. Only one Nobel Peace Prize winner uses PowerPoint, but nine wear bras. (An inconvenient truth or fiction?)Nine women have won the Nobel Peace Prize
只有一个诺贝尔和平奖得主使用PPT,但有9个穿胸罩。前副总统戈尔是著名演讲人,依靠环保方面的演讲获得诺贝尔奖。而有九位女性曾经获得诺贝尔奖。
22. You can’t use the same slide deck all day long, day after day.
你不能日复一日一直使用同样的PPT。
23. Slide decks don’t transition well from day to evening.
PPT不能很好地从白天转场到晚上。
24. Teenagers know how to use bras, but adults still have trouble with PowerPoint.
小孩都知道如何使用胸罩,但有些成人还不会使用PPT。
25. Your mom will usually buy your first bra for you.
你妈妈通常会帮你买第一个胸罩。
26. With bras, only teen-aged girls pad them with useless fluff.
只有十几岁的女孩才往胸罩里垫毛线。
27. It’s socially acceptable for men to use a slide deck, as long as it’s a good one.
社会可以接受一个男人使用PPT,只要他们制作水平还不错。
28. PowerPoint slides look best when projected on a flat surface.
PPT投在平面上效果最好,恩,胸罩嘛,这个我就不说了。
29. Guy Kawasaki has no 10-20-30 rule for bras.
Guy Kawasaki(另一个著名的PPT教育家)没有关于胸罩的10-20-30原则。
30. Establishments that outlaw bras are labeled “trashy.” Companies that outlaw PowerPoint are labeled “forward-thinking.”
取缔胸罩的条款被标为“垃圾”,取缔PPT的公司被称为“有远见”
31. Your employer will likely issue you a standard slide deck in corporate colors.
你的老板可能要求你的PPT使用公司标准色。
32. A laser pointer rarely accompanies a bra.
激光笔很少会在胸罩上指指点点。